Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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