I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
