How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
