Your mouth is God's brothel.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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