Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
