He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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