So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
