That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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