I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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