I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
