I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
