He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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