so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
