i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
