you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
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The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
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The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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