my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
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Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
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Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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