I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
