I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Sext me about skeletons
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
