ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
