i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
