This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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