yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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