I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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