it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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