So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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