those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize