I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
