I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You can't just leave with hair like that
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize