my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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