You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
3pm strippers are depressing
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
