My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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