Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize