i think my tv is drunk
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
