Swine flu. Run for my life!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
