It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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