Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
