I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
