I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize