i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
