So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
