You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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