Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
