Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
