why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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