She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We got so high we made milksteak
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
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How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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