She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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