this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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