8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
