He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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