If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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