You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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