I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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