i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I will pee on everything he values.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
