morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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