Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
