I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
