I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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