Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize