I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I would ride that face into the sunset
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
