She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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