I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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