His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Come see our sink grown plant.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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