i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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