Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
