we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
