Whod you bang
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
