What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
