He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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