coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
